Literally changing the face
So yesterday on Vox Matthew Yglesias ranted about the history of the time zone and how much better we’d be if we eliminated them altogether and just conducted all of our business on GMT, because math is hard, let’s go shopping.
Sharing the article on Newsblur, some folks suggested that as long as we’re changing how we do time, we should switch to metric time.
This are both IDIOTIC ideas.
To illustrate, let me use an example.
What time does The Daily Show come on? 11pm Eastern and Pacific, 10pm Central, right? That’s pretty confusing, right?
Under Yglesias’ proposed system, The Daily Show would come on at 5am, except the areas that were formerly the Mountain and Pacific Time Zones, where it would come on at 7am, but because we’ve done away with time zones, there’s just some geographic area where The Daily Show comes on at a different time.
Metric time is even worse:
Under metric time, The Daily Show would start at 0.208
"But Cwabs," you say, "under metric time the unit of measurement is a second, and multiples of that!"
"Bullshit," I retort, "A second is a meaningless unit. It’s either a fraction of a day, which is a thing normal people with instruments can measure, or ‘the duration of 9192631770 periods of the radiation corresponding to the transition between the two hyperfine levels of the ground state of the caesium 133 atom,’ which is something nobody can measure. There are only two ways to measure metric time—either in fractions of a day, or in some comparison to the speed of light (the length of time it takes light in a vacuum to travel one meter, for instance)
"But since a meter is arbitrarily set as a fraction of the earth’s circumference (the short way), it would make sense to set metric time as a fraction of a day, which is something that humans observe on a regular basis. Heck, calculating the acceleration of gravity in meters per square day might end up being really elegant."
Anyway, my point is that there clearly isn’t enough trouble going on in the world or in politics, because Matthew Yglesias has enough time to half-think through his stupid thought experiments but not to think them all the way through.
Don’t go to Harvard, kids.
A Kickstarter for you to just subscribe to the New Yorker already.
Bud Light once had a whole ad campaign about women being attracted to a dog who wore sunglasses.
And it worked.